I was wondering about the many moments of time I have spent just being alone with You, incapable of even thinking coherently. Many a time one has been caught up in a feeling of utter desolation and meaninglessness and I have often wanted to put into words exactly what I was then doing.
It is very simple. I was sharing my suffering with You Lord. More often I have nothing else to offer You, yet even the act of giving that to you Lord, has a sweetness and gentleness of its own.
We can only know the answer to the moment as You reveal it and how You replace suffering with joy, received from the giving of it.
Thank you Jesus, I beg you Lord to love me, as I know You do, but please bear with me the many mistakes I make – my inability to be holy.
Somehow I feel in Your heart You must have a place for the unorthodox Davids of this world. I cannot ever see myself as the fine example some of your dear friends have been but please Lord, worthless as I am, take the hypocrite, the coward and the cheat and breathe Your own brand of transforming love since I know not what I should be like and wish only to be what You would have me be.
Lord, even if that is lacking in honesty, transform me and let me be pleasing to Your Spirit Jesus. I am what I am and even that, only You really understand since the state of being can only be perfected in You.
Grasp me and hold me. Touch me and love me Lord. I am weak and cannot cope but I will move on, never looking back.
Let my heart sing a new song. Let it blend in the Song of Love, the song You first sang Father, the life you gave us.
Praise you Father, Son and Holy Spirit.